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Hilarious used car comments - article featured in Jalopnik!

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ddcgreg

ddcgreg

Lot Lizard
Apr 15, 2009
9
8
First Name
Greg
#1
Just came across thishttp://jalopnik.com/5820799/americas-next-great-storyteller-is-a-new-york-used-audi-salesman article in Jalopnik

"America’s next great storyteller is a New York used Audi salesman"

Definitely worth checking out some of their used vehicle comments on their site as well!

Here's a few examples:

Audi A-6
So everyone who's anyone at Audi is at the New York Auto Show. Mr. Barry, our esteemed dealer principal was invited to the Auto Show in Manhattan to receive his Magna Society Award as one of the top 50 Audi Dealers in the country. Well any half normal person would be delighted to go and get the plague.. the rubber chicken dinner and a toast of cheap champagne. But Mr. Barry says, "If I don't go... there won't be any Audi dealers around to bid on cars... they''ll all be busy at Javits Center and I can get first dibs on anything." Well we think Mr. Barry is a first class jerk for blowing off this honor, but hey we now have a virtually new 2010 factory executive driven A-6 Quattro. Black on Black this is the Premium PLus model with Navigation. With only 17,000 miles, it's a whale of a deal at $46,995. But now it's a whale and a half of a deal with Audi Certification at $43,995. So while we all know what Mr. Barry is like, because we have to endure him, we also know that there is a fine line between brilliance and lunacy. This time.. for the first itme, Mr. Barry was on the side of the former. And now to make this even a better deal... the price is $43,995 WITH AUDI CERTIFICATION...

Audi A-6 Avant
We say this A-6 Avant is virtually new... but we're dealers. Audi says it's the closest to new... and THEY SHOULD KNOW. Audi reconditioned this A-6 Avant and went through the car with a 300 tooth comb... actually a 300pt . check. The A-6 Avant is the most elegant, luxurious wagon you can buy... but they are as rare as a New York Mets victory... We have an Oyster Gray with unique Amaretto leather, navigation, technology package..... basically everything you could want in a wagon that stickered for North of $58,000. It's $37,995 with Audi Certification... it's flawless... .... It's impossible to find and now because Mr. Paul, our CPO(big Shot)Used Car Manager can win two tickets to a Yankee game, he legitimately wacked the price $2,000 ..yup... $2,000.
 
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#2
Someone has a creative writing bone. I've written a few comments like this in the past - I wish I still have the copy. It was funny and rewarding when a customer would come in and make reference to the comment.

Thanks for sharing Greg.
 
#4
I wish I had the balls to write like this guy!

"...So while we all know what Mr. Barry is like, because we have to endure him, we also know that there is a fine line between brilliance and lunacy. This time.. for the first itme, Mr. Barry was on the side of the former. And now to make this even a better deal... the price is $43,995 WITH AUDI CERTIFICATION..."

hahaha!
I'd go out of my way to follow this guy (isn't it funny how you can just tell it's a guy writing it?)
 
#6
I had an internet manager who wrote custom comments on a bunch of cars several years ago after an ATC account rep visited the store and explained the importance of vehicle comments. So he wrote some comments like this on a bunch of his cars:

"My AutoTrader Account Rep told me that if I write comments on each of my cars that I'll sell them quicker. She also told me to write a story about each car because customers like to read stories. So let's see what you think and maybe you'll come by and buy this fine car or I can tell her she's wrong that comments don't sell cars."

I read the comments and called the manager to make sure that he had written the comments and he said "Yep!". He sold those cars.
 
#7
Ryan Thompson said:
anyone know which dealership he is at?? Love it!
Click to expand...
My personal Audi TT was purchased from Mohegan Lake Motors, the dealership from which these great comments originate. I purchased it from "Mr. Barry" himself, Dealer Principal, Barry Rost. While the comments refer to him as a "First Class Jerk", he is truly a First Class gentleman, as his willingness to let his staff have some fun at his expense demonstrates.

What's also demonstrated here is a willingness to break thru the clutter on the highly competitive classified sites and truly stand out.

BRAVO
 
#8
Hah. That was good stuff. I actually went to school for journalism and at the last minute decided not to take on a Masters in Creative Writing program I had been accepted into. I'm always tempted to do something like this but instead I write comments in somewhat of a boring style (to me, hopefully not the customer) that focuses entirely on the vehicles features. I just always felt like certain writing styles would make a huge impact on some but be lost on others so I keep it generic.
 
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#10
I just found this beauty......

"Seller's Notes: 1 OWNER, SE PATHFINDER, POWER WINDOWS, LCOKS, MIRRORS, POWER DRI9VER SEAT, SUNROOF, ALLOY WHEELS, MULTI DICK CD, LEATHER & HEATED SEATS, ROOF RACK, RUNNING BOARDS, TOWING, **Call or E-Mail Us For Availability** ---CALL or E-MAIL us to check availability"

LOL!!!!!

and if you don't believe me, check it out...

2008 Nissan Pathfinder SE, $23,325 - Cars.com
 
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